• ashleymonroex

Risk mitigation for clients - the importance of reviews.

Updated: Jun 15

Rumor has it that there is currently a group of men in Auckland pretending to be sex workers, and using this to scam unsuspecting clients. As a client of sex workers, you undertake a risk each and every time you visit a worker. Luckily, the risk of a serious negative event occurring can be almost entirely be offset by using common sense and by doing your due diligence. You can also do your part to help others avoid dodgy situations through review/testimonial systems. First I think it is important to define "serious negative event" as that can be considered broad. By SNE I mean an event such as blackmail, having your money stolen and the worker doing a runner*, or severe case of bait and switch. Something that I consider not to be a SNE (which I know a few will disagree with me) is "not receiving a good service". This is once again a broad kind of statement, and will mean many different things to many different people. I don't include it because often an average or less than average sexual encounter is down to not clicking with the sexual partner. This is true in both paid and unpaid relationships. Sometimes you just aren't vibing, and that is nobody's fault. Now, on to the good stuff...

Common sense My good friend, common sense is nowhere near as common as it should be. I have heard plenty a story of clients being bamboozled by even the most brazen of baits.

1) Be wary of ads that have photos of girls holding waist trainers, Fit tea and teeth whiteners. These ads are quite literally ripped from instagram, and the influencer in the photo is not the one putting up the ad. Pictures of famous porn stars are another one to look out for. Reverse image search if it seems too good to be true.


2) Be wary of "too good to be true" prices. While there are amazing escorts at every price point, often those advertising an all inclusive price of less than $150 are not who they appear. They run with the concept of "foot in the door" marketing - a technique where you are already there, the prices are cheap so why not go through with it? Sometimes you may end up having a great experience, but that isn't always the case. 3) Avoid workers that offer illegal services. The PRA and the OSH guide for sex work are very clear with how we are to operate, and this is for the health and safety of both ourselves, and our clients.

Due diligence Seeking the company of an escort is not cheap, and it makes sense that one would want to do a bit of research on their companion prior to booking. I absolutely cannot stress the importance of this enough. Both for your enjoyment, and your safety. 1) If a worker has social media or a personal website linked to her ad, check it out. Often we are limited to a word count, a small selection of photos, or mundane rules that don't allow us to convey as much as we would like. By reading through our social media or websites, you can probably get a better feel for our personalities, as well as more recent photos. Sex workers who go through the effort of establishing themselves on social media and personal websites are often serious about their jobs and/or in it for the long run. They are unlikely to want to screw over their businesses by bamboozling you. 2) Read the ad. Last year I had a client turn up who was a bit disappointed to meet me, and ended up walking. I asked him why, and it was because I wasn't "sexy" enough for him, and wasn't wearing makeup. If he had taken 30 seconds to read my ad or website, he would have known that I don't wear makeup, and greet my clients dressed casually (it is explicitly stated, so there is no way to avoid it). This isn't so much from a safety point of view, but an enjoyment one. If you go into a booking having made up what you want a worker to be like when all signs point in other directions, you are going to have a bad time. 3) Reviews. Reviews are an important tool for both workers and clients, although they do remain controversial, with many escorts option out of them for various reasons (something I will cover in my next blog). For clients, they can be a beneficial tool during the pre-meeting research because they confirm that the worker is infact real, that the pictures match the person. So how do you leave a review that is respectful, yet gets across the points that need to be brought up? Uprising has a really good format, it has a few short answer questions (e.g do the pics and person match?) and the option for a longer answer paragraph. Some would say that having a few checkboxes and yes/no questions make the review impersonal, however I disagree. Having the main info that anyone looking to see a worker would like to know (are the pics real, price range, personality) so accessible is a good thing. It saves time for those who don't like reading too much, and allows more people to review, since not everyone feels they can measure up to a 2000 word essay review. The details of the "main event" are not really that important, because as mentioned above, you aren't going to click with everyone sexually. Some things that a worker does with you, she might not feel comfortable doing with someone else (e.g kissing) and mentioning it in your review would just lead to pressure on her. It is one of the leading reasons workers do not permit reviews. As long as a worker allows reviews (it is always nice to ask first), it is great to leave a review for your fellow peeps to find during their research phase, that confirms the legitimacy of the worker and her service. It also helps the worker establish themselves as legitimate, which can lead to more work for them.

That while a provider may meet all the 👍 criteria, your experience may differ from what others have said. There are a number of reasons for this, coming down to things like not clicking, or that first time meeting awkwardness, or whatever reason. It's all a learning curve. A number of websites such as Tryst are looking into adding a "testimonial" section on their websites, you can look at Uprising reviews HERE. You can also see a list of my reviews/testimonials here --------------------------------

* Sex workers are allowed to stop the service at any time that they wish without giving a reason, however most sex workers will go through with the service unless you are crossing boundaries. When i'm talking about SW taking your money and doing a runner, i'm meaning those instances where it is clear that there was never any intention of going through with the booking. Taking the money and doing a runner is a rare SNE.

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